OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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