oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
