he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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