She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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