I just saw a hot homeless man
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
