He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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