Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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