I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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