That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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