areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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