Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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