If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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