I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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