And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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