I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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