carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
