Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
