He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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