I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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