OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
well you can't waste a boner
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
