Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
