I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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