I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
