I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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