He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My vagina just recognized that song.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
