so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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