Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
