Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
