i just google imaged poop.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
