I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
