We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
