North Korea, Best Korea!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
