I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
