im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
