what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
