I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
