Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
