Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
