there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
