I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
