i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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