dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
