he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
