I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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