Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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