Do vagina's smell?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
