i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you told grandpa to call you daddy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
