So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
