Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
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