Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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