i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
