I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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