And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!