He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode