How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.