I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize