Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
