I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
