You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
