Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i came on her dog
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
