i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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