Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
