My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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