K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
