you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
