Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
