I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
