Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
tell me about the fingering
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
