New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize