Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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