i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
